THINNING MY TAPE COLLECTION     I. Someone kicked my ass in the night while I slept. I think he did it with money. I think he did it with wit. I think he found that rare Pink Floyd LP that I could never find, even on the internet. He probably has a radio show, and he’ll play that record Thursday and talk about me disparagingly. II. I got a job as an announcer at the junior high. All day, kids with guns line up and force me to play one song after another: “Dear God” by XTC, or “Another Brick in the Wall Part 2”. I wonder - why only eighties pop? Why no teenage boy forcing me at gunpoint to play “Hey Ya”? III. There’s a new dance sensation which is sweeping the country. Just stand still and I’ll demonstrate: It involves waving your arms in the air without concern.