THE MOVIE THAT WAS ONLY A SENTENCE FRAGMENT
Featuring the Poem They Couldn't Colorize



      OPENING TITLE:

                The boy who knew he had to sleep,
                But with his eyes so wide,
                Realized he couldn't sleep,
                No matter how he tried.

1     INT. EMPTY ROOM

      FADE IN. CLOSEUP on a book on a pedestal, in a
      spotlight. It says

                "TURN THE LIGHT OUT PLEASE"
                Starring Agnes Moorehead
                With Ted Turner as "Vicki"

                10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2

      PULL WIDE to reveal an empty room. VICKI walks
      up to the pedestal.

                            VICKI
                Damn.

                            CHARLES
                What is it, dear?

                            VICKI
                It's not a true first
                edition. See, the countdown
                ends before it hits 1.

                            CHARLES
                Bugger.

                            VICKI
                Charles...

                            CHARLES
                    (cuts her off)
                ...Foster Arcana.

                            VICKI
                    (warning him)
                Watch it.

2     EXT. SUN VALLEY, IDAHO 1960

      An elegant rural home. ERNEST HEMINGWAY's
      house. Ernest Hemingway is in a hammock in the
      yard, thinking.

                            ERNEST HEMINGWAY
                    (voice over)
                Ah...fresh towels.

      From the distance comes the sound of an
      orchestra of specially-tuned sleighs conducted
      by Spike Jones.

      And with a "click," the light fails, and we

      FADE OUT.